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  Site Home › People & Communities › Humor & Fun
   
 

Serving Up Some Humor in the Islands

   

Author: Jeffrey Hauser

I had been married for a year and we hadnt been able to afford a honeymoon. So we saved for a year, picked a Montego Bay resort in Jamaica, off a travel brochure, and prepared for a long week-end getaway over Presidents Day. We lived in New Jersey at the time and hadnt traveled much. My wife was from a very small town in West Virginia and never been in a hotel before.

We arrived on the island and got an airport shuttle to the resort. It was beautiful and exciting. We unpacked and headed downstairs to the outdoor caf for dinner. After a multiple course meal, my wife said, Thank you Walter, as the black man in the crisp white suit cleared our table. As we walked away, I asked how she knew his name. She informed me that it was on his nametag. I escorted her back up to our room where she used the key and opened the door. Immediately, she slammed the door and pushed me back down the hallway.

Oh my god, weve been robbed? she exclaimed, obviously shaken.

Youre kidding, I replied in disbelief.

No, really. Everythings been touched. All our stuff has been moved. I didnt see our suitcases, clothes or anything. Im afraid to go back in. We should go talk to the manager right now, she demanded.

Calm down, I said. Let me take a peek, and I grabbed the key out of her still- shaking hand.

Please dont do it,she pleaded, as I walked to the door anyway.

I gently pushed the door open and saw the problem. Our stuff had definitely been touched. The suitcases we left on the bed were against the wall. The bed was now made and turned down. The robbers had even gone to the trouble to place small chocolate mints on the pillows as a thank you for allowing us to let them steal us blind. Inside the bathroom, I noticed that the towels had been straightened by the criminals. They had even left fresh soap, the swine!

My wife was waiting patiently outside as I returned.

Its okay, I reassured her. It think the burglars worked for the hotel.

What do you mean? she asked, somewhat puzzled.

It was the maid. They do that sort of thing at nicer hotels. Like turning down the bed, getting us fresh towels and, did you notice the mints?

Mints? She replied as she gingerly followed me back inside.

At that point she settled down and began to enjoy the resort. Two days later, after having all our meals at the hotel with the same server, we had just finished our dessert after dinner. It was our last meal and Walter thanked us for our generous tips, my wife and I were walking away when I saw another server at the hostess stand. She wore a name badge that read, Waiter.

I turned to my wife, who had relatively poor eyesight and said, Could you stay here a minute? She looked perplexed but waited as I left to find our waiter.

I walked up to him and said, Excuse me, but whats you name?

He was surprised, but said, Why its Cedric, sir. Why do you ask?

Well, my wife called you Walter for three days and you never once corrected her.

He simply smiled and said, That would be rude to correct a guest, sir.

I reached in my wallet and gave him a twenty dollar bill, Thats for the excellent service, I told him, strolling away to find my wife,

After I told her the story, she laughed until tears rolled down her nearsighted eyes.

Author Bio:

Jeffrey Hauser

Jeffrey Hauser was a sales consultant for the Bell System Yellow Pages for nearly 25 years. He graduated from Pratt Institute with a BFA in Advertising and has a Master's Degree in teaching. He had his own advertising agency in Scottsdale, Arizona and ran a consulting and design firm, ABC Advertising. He has authored 6 books and a novel, "Pursuit of the Phoenix." His latest book is, "Inside the Yellow Pages." Both are available at amazon.com. Currently, he is the Marketing Director for thenurseschoice.com, a Health Information and Doctor Referral site.

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